you weren't made to do this alone.

"And since i, the master of the household have been called the prince of demons, how much more will it happen to you, the members of the household!" -Matthew 10:25



Take all these cuts, and make them shine
And all this pain I’ve held inside
So I can find my way home again
-Look Away by Thousand Foot Krutch

i am washed by the blood.
i am treasured by Someone far greater than those that hurt me, that lied to me.
we, we have been lied to.
we have been told that our worth, is determined by what we do, and not by who we are.
we are precious, and no one can take our place.
we have a lover, a savoir, a father, who GAVE HIS LIFE FOR US.
He DIED for us.
because we are everything to Him.
and He so desperately wants to be everything to us.


i have been believing lies.
lies that implied that doing what was right, what God wants me to do,
makes me less than equal down here.
that somehow the world was punishing me, for obeying my creator.
but that's not the case,
and He tried to prepare me for this.
the called my King the prince of darkness,
they nailed him to a cross.
who am i to expect anything less?
has the enemy changed all these years,
now he only attacks through lies from loved ones and ruined reputations?
the truth is, i am not fighting, we are not fighting each other, but rather the darkness of this world,
and spiritual wickedness in high places.
the enemy is terrified of me,
because i am a powerful woman of God,
and He has amazing things planned for me,
for all of us.
i am going to do more good than i could ever dream of,
i am going to help people, and lead them to Christ.
so that they might know the love that has been shown to me.


this is my testimoney;
we were all created for an individual purpose, and no one can take that from you.
if you're feeling different, ostracized, attacked?
good.
because you are obviously doing something right,
if you've got the enemy that scared.
but you are not alone.
you are accepted and loved and needed, by the Big Man :]
the one who created life, and made each and every one of us.
let Him be your everything.
you weren't made to do this alone.

For wherever two or more are gathered, there am i in the midst of them...
-Matthew 18:20

Lately, God has been showing me the many different types of "church" or "worship".

I have found that i feel the closest to The Father when i'm singing, or snowboarding, or just driving. Whether i'm by myself or with someone else. And i think that may be important, finding God outside of Church or after Sunday. Don't get me wrong I love Church, especially the one's that i am involved in. But i'm sure there will be times in my life, and maybe yours, where finding the right church is difficult. And more than that, i think you'll find that God loves doing what YOU love doing. He loves spending time with you. I know that not everyone enjoys doing the same things that i do... but i ask you to open your heart and notice that when your doing whatever it is you enjoy, God is asking to do it with you.

just a thought

I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. -John 14:27
peace, to me is simplicity, and trust that there is someone there, to help me, to love me, sometimes just someone to talk to.
i find peace in knowing that most people that enter my life will come when God thinks i am ready for them, and leave when their job is done. and that the lessons they teach me will forever be imprinted in my heart.

i find peace in knowing that i can look at someone who's "done me wrong" and see all of the things they did right for me. i can look into their eyes and not feel hate, i know that God loves them just as much as he does me, and that they too have a calling on their life, if they choose to accept it. (which i sincerely wish all of you do.)

i find peace in knowing that wherever i go, whatever i do, i will always have the support of my family, and my God :] and that neither are opposed to an occasional late night phone call.

i find peace in my indicisiveness, i know that by not having plans of my own i am less likely to reject God's plans for me, which i know will blow my mind, as soon as he's ready to share them with me haha.
but most importantly, i find peace in knowing that i am completely incapable of ever being alone.
and that is a gift that can never be taken, never be given back.

untitled

i will be strong,
hide in you 'til morning.
i sleep best wrapped in the arms of love.
sing to me sweet Father,
the sparrows are your symphony.

this place reminds me of home.
the birds of your voice,
the sunset of your eyes,
and i miss you.

trying to be fair...

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
-Matthew 18:21-22


it is true, that life is not fair,
but as christian aren't we supposed to be?
is God, our Father and ultimate role model,
completely and utterly fair?
does he not offer the kingdom to everyone?
does he not love each of his children the same?
who are we to decide what other's deserve?
is our main goal not to love,
and love unconditionally as he loves us?
life is unfair because the the prince of darkness has his dirty hands on it,
but i will choose to live as best i can,
as close to the Lord as i can,
and loving as i possibly can be.
my second chances are incapable of diminishing,
my compassion has no limits.
i might be wrong in my beliefs and please tell me if i am,
but i'm just trying to listen to the voice of my Father,
to do what he asks of me,
and to give others what he has given me.
love.
forgiveness.

the glory of God runs through your veins!

the flowers were created for your fancy,

the crickets were sent for your lullaby.

this earth screams of the passion your God feels for you.
are you listening?

The beauty of this world,

the beauty of life,

is that it's The Father's soul captured in a moment.

you want him, and you need him
but you act like he's not there.
yeah you know that you're hollow.
and something's missing here

why don't you break the cycle,
let love in.
-Hunger by Fireflight

He's not going to give up. God passionately loves you and desperately craves a relationship with you. He needs you like the air you breathe. did you catch that? God NEEDS you. you've built up walls to try and keep everyone out, especially him. what are you afraid of? caring? caring about something, someone so immensely that you can feel it in your very being? because that's what you'll get. you'll get love that surpasses all understanding, you'll get someone you can depend on. someone who comes running the moment you call, a comforter, a lover, a friend. you'll fill that piece that's missing. and i know it is. we were created to love him. and you can't tell me that you don't feel it. it doesn't matter how long it takes, God is going to fight for you. and one day, that wall will break. trust me i know. it will come crashing down at the force of something so small, you won't be able to take it anymore, you'll want to give up. one crack like that and God is going to come rushing in, filling your every crack and crevice, every whole, He will completely drown you in love. and you'll grasp something worth living for, something worth dieing for. you'll embrace a love that you were meant to share since the begining. and it will be beautiful.

i am with you always, even to the end of the age. -matthew 28:20


truth. i myself have become one of the many searching so desperately for love, i don't nessecarily mean the relationship kind of love, just love in general. but an intense kind of love, unconditional, life altering, nonsensical love. my search has left me both hopeless and desperate, and hurt. i've been looking so hard to find something tangable to fill a void i myself created.

and then i woke up.

why i've been hunting so desperately for something that already belongs to me, i have no idea.
but out of my trials i leave you with this thought...

you ALREADY have the love that you desire.
it already belongs to you, you just have to open your eyes and see it, open your heart and feel it.
Your father ADORES you, DELIGHTS in you, gave EVERYTHING for you.
he NEVER leaves your side and He sees you PERFECTLY.

you are truly loved my friend,
and not just by me ;]

I can't count the times I've cried for you,
You who are restless and broken.
We all just want to feel.
Self medicated lullabies and self induced hysteria,
I hold you in my heart in a place I had saved for understanding.
With bloodshot eyes I feel you,
Though our decisions different and our mind sets changed I want the best this world has to offer for you.
I'd give anything to see you smile again.
I ache knowing I can't give that to you.
I will sing and love and reach out to this world more than they will let me.
If you could only see the truth.
God and I love you.

Can you hear him in the silence?
Like the rain he cries for you
And you're pain brings him to his knee's.
Anything for a second of your time this isn't what he expected.
You were made for him.
So turn your face to the sun child,
Open your eyes and feel something that is real.
Run until you lose your breath, run to him.
He is waiting.

I can't count the times I've cried for you,
You who are angry and befuddled.
The answers aren't ever what you needed.
Life's become less of a treasure and more of a game,
A duty that you can't be relieved of.
You blame everything in sight and with sharp features and wounded pride you scream.
Scream until your lungs give out and every window in this place is shattered.
Begging someone to listen, anyone to hear you.

Can you hear him in the silence?
Like the rain he cries for you
And you're pain brings him to his knee's.
Anything for a second of your time this isn't what he expected.
You were made for him.
So turn your face to the sun child,
Open your eyes and feel something that is real.
Run until you lose your breath, run to him.
He is waiting.

Give your broken chest to the carpenter; let your father kiss your wounds.
You've been called to greatness will you rise or will you fall?

Can you hear him in the silence?
Like the rain he cries for you
And you're pain brings him to his knee's.
Anything for a second of your time this isn't what he expected.
You were made for him.
So turn your face to the sun child,
Open your eyes and feel something that is real.
Run until you lose your breath run to him.
He is waiting.

"i've got a little more faith than the world has doubt" -<3

at the risk of you thinking i'm stupid i have something to say, so please please finish reading this.

i know so many people who are hurting. Who are so wounded that it hurts to get out and bed in the morning and face the day and it breaks my heart. I would love nothing more than to hold you all in my arms and shield you from the pain... But my arms just aren't big enough and as much as i wish i was i'm just not strong enough. I know someone who is. I know someone who can turn your pain into joy and your tears into laughter, don't you want that? god. Your father. Jesus. Your savior. if you will just turn your face to him and feel the sunshine. His is a love like no other and a forgiveness that is so undeserveing. He is the one person who will never hurt you, never leave you, never lie to you, never make you feel like you aren't good enough, he is never angry and he always wants to hold you when you cry. If you feel alone call on him. He is always waiting. I do my best to keep my promises and i promise you your life will never be the same. Whether your finding god for the first time or just getting back in touch, he loves you more than you can ever imagine, and he's waiting.

woman

i am a princess.
daughter of Eloi,
daughter of Jehovah.
my father is THE king of kings,
and the world will not defeat me.

i am strong and gentle.
i am fierce and compassionate.
i am merciful and beautiful.

i am a beloved child.
i am hands and feet.
i am an important part of the bride,
i know the truth, the way, and the life personally.

i am not independent,
but rather i am solely dependent on God.

i am "blessed beyond measures"
and have "peace that surpasses understanding"

i am eve.
i am the crown of creation.
i am woman.